These first four months of this year have slipped by so quickly, as time seems to do the older one gets. We made it through our first Lenten and Easter season as a ministry family, and we are only slightly worse for wear.
Lent was a personal journey for me. I wrote more during the Lenten season than I ever have before. I created a daily prayer devotion for our church. At the beginning, it went so well. I had two weeks ready to go before Lent even began.
And then life happened.
And I was never ahead again. Rather than having them planned out ahead of time, I was sometimes creating the next day’s prayer at 11:30 the night before. NOT the best idea…but hey, they all got done.
Having to write every single day was an exercise of devotion for me. There were days when the words wouldn’t come, when it felt forced. And then there were the days, oh those beautiful days, when everything flowed, the scripture spoke to me, the Lord provided insight, and I had more words that I could use. I loved those days, and hated the others. My creativity ebbed and flowed like the spring weather here in the northern tundra of Minnesota. Here one day, warm and fresh, with beautiful sunshine and the next, freezing, with snow accumulating atop the brave tulips that have begun their push through the frozen ground.
Springtime in Minnesota
The weather lately has done a number on my attitude. After a warm(ish) March, April came in like a lion, tearing at us with cold wind and (almost) daily snow. This bipolar weather pattern wears at my soul, exhausting me with the grey, dreary days, keeping me inside, hiding from the bitter winds.
In just a few days, we have 70* temps forecasted, and it almost makes me physically ache with anticipation, especially today, as I huddle under a blanket while the temp outside strives to reach freezing and we deal with a cantankerous furnace. I am craving sunshine again, and warm rains, and green grass and budding trees and flowers. This is what my soul needs now, what my mind needs, what my body needs. I need to run in the sunshine, and feel warm breezes upon my skin. I need to smell the dirt and the budding greenery. I need to feel the warming earth under my bare feet, see the colors of the blooming flowers.
Even the words I have these days seem dreary, uninspired. Blog post after post have been started, and subsequently abandoned. Time after time, I have felt inspired but the moment I sit at the computer screen, words seem to scurry from my mind and I sit here, blank.
This is the season when faith is relied on more fully, and I lean into the knowing that spring, and its glorious warmth and sunshine, are on its way. This is the time when I need to cling to the faith that this dreariness, this bleakness, will not last, neither in the weather nor in my spirit.