image from Wikimedia Commons
Well, here we are.
Seven days, just one week, into the new year, and resolutions have already been broken. Busted. Thrown out the window.
Exercise more? Well, I wrote up a plan for exercise. Does that count?
Lose weight? Okay, I did start my second round of Whole30, and haven’t cheated yet, so hopefully that will happen.
Pray more? Um, failed.
Read the Bible daily? So, yeah, maybe I need to adjust that goal to once a week and then, HEY! I’ve done it!
Part of my problem with resolutions has been that they are not specific. More? More than what? Once a week? Once a month? Once a year?
They are also very me-centered. I thought about what I wanted, what I think I need, and what I need to do. I didn’t ask for guidance from God, and I decided on my “wish-list” of goals.
And that, my friends, is where I went wrong.
There is nothing inherently wrong with setting resolutions, with putting goals out there. It is a good thing to make plans in order to succeed in things of this world. If I hadn’t followed a very specific plan of training, I never would have been able to complete a marathon. Without a plan, I never would have been able to read the Bible completely in one year.
But, let me tell you, when I did those things, I prayed about them. Hard. I prayed for strength, for endurance, for a will that was not my own in order to complete the task and accomplish the feat.
The dear husband, who is in his first year of shepherding a small church, challenged our congregation last Sunday to set apart time to meet with God and ask Him about our new year, to seek God’s guidance and will for our lives. To ask God to bless our plans, or show us new ones, if ours did not line up with His.
And so, I did that. No, not immediately that Sunday afternoon. And not in one time of quiet and rest. No, my time with God was a bit messy, and broken into different times, some at home, some at work. (This is where it is a blessing to be a massage therapist. Unless I have a chatty client, there is peace and quiet….and it is fabulous!)
I listened. I waited.
And I heard.
No, not a deep voice, calling from the heavens. No, God didn’t sound like Morgan Freeman. (Well, maybe He does. Mr. Freeman does have. quite. the. voice.) Instead, a deep impression into my soul, a firm desire implanted, a peace that overcame me. There was clarity given to me for the journey.
It was also…challenging. Because I was asked to step out, even further, in faith. To risk. To share. And that desire that was felt, deep in my bones? I know it wasn’t of me, because it was for things that I don’t feel equipped for, or talented in, or capable of. The stirring of my heart to speak to groups, to preach, to teach….yep, totally out of my comfort zone and wheelhouse.
Dear husband and I have talked about creating a way to teach others what we were taught of healing prayer. We see a deep need for healing in this place. We are surrounded by the walking wounded, broken by the world, hurt by others, by their community, by their families, by their own choices in life. Both of us want to help equip others to pray, to love, and to lead the hurting to Jesus, to lay their burdens down and take up His yoke. We have felt confirmation of this desire, and I know the nudging I feel is from God. I still don’t know what it will look like, how it will shape up, but I know that this comes not just from our own desiring.
I also know that God is stirring me to write more.
My goal for this year is to write a blog post once per week. 52 posts.
It sounds impossible to me. After all, the total I’ve published is 46, and that is in the course of 2 1/2 years. (It is so nice that WordPress keeps all those stats for me, isn’t it?)
In order to meet this, I am going to have to lay aside my fears, my insecurities, my perfectionist tendencies. They may not all be polished and pretty. They may even have a few spelling or grammar errors (gasp!). But they will be prayed over, and prayerfully given, with a hope that someone is given hope, shown mercy, met Jesus, through each and every one.
My intention is to really dive into what healing is, and what it means for us in today’s world. There will be scripture, there will be stories of my own journey, and there will be questions….and probably few answers. I can’t say that every single post will be deep, theological, or wonderful, but I can say that it will be authentic.
So, will you journey with me over the next 52 weeks? Will those who know me hold me accountable to this?
Will you too ask God’s guidance for your plans and goals for 2016 and see where He takes you?